He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
