whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
