I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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