we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
