I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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