I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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