We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
