i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
