i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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