WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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