Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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