I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
