Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Drunk is not a location!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
