his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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