I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
