Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
