no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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