It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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