i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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