A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I can't put those talents on a resume
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
