Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He did a backflip because drugs
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