he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
