My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
