Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
