i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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