i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
