There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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