i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
