He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
