My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
