It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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