The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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