Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
