the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we're making bets on your personal life
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize