she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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