yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I see more hoeing in ur future
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