shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize