So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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