I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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