This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
