Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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