Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
