Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
