just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize