But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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