dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
well you can't waste a boner
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
