I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
