handjob tips. give me some.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
