woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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