I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
