On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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