whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
