we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
