Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
