You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
