The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize