Need sex. Gaining weight.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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