you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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