I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
