Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
