I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
