I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
porn star boner night. come get it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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