please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
