ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
