everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
