i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
