The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
