no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
did i just pee glitter
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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