when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
