at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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